No one says caring for a loved one is easy, that is for sure, but I will always say it is worth it.

Love is definitely the number one motivator for family caregivers to provide general care, learn about medical diagnosis, run errands, attend doctor’s appointments, and assist with daily living needs. 
All the things that need to be done as independence diminishes love can easily be overshadowed.

I’m not sure why but I didn’t think of the time I spent caring for my dad as a sacrifice until others used that word. Though I drove 220 miles one way each week for over 2 years and every other week for an additional 2 years I just didn’t think of it in that way.


My mindset was one of stepping into needs my dad had that he couldn’t take care of himself. I was just being a supportive daughter.


Your Mindset matters!  Teepa Snow says we need to focus on “Doing with not doing to!”  

  • Walking with them, not just getting there.
  • Bathing with them, not just getting them clean.
  • Dressing with them, not just changing their clothes.
  • Visiting with them not just talking at them.

This mindset will help you get the tasks done with dignity, honor and more efficiency. 


When I reflect back now, I can see that the time I spent away from my home, husband and kids was a sacrifice, but it was so worth it.

In fact, it wasn’t any more of a sacrifice to me than hanging out and caring for my grandchildren one day each week.

In both cases, I got as much from our time together and the relationship we create as I gave.  Maybe that’s why I don’t feel it’s a sacrifice.

How do you define sacrifice?

What mindset do you find is helpful to keep you from feeling resentful of the time you spend caring for your loved one?

If you need more help than a few tips then let’s talk and see if coaching is a good fit for you!

Rayna Neises understands the joys and challenges that come from a season of caring. She helped care for both of her parents during their separate battles with Alzheimer’s over a thirty-year span. She is able to look back on those days now with no regrets – and she wishes the same for every woman caring for aging parents.

To help others through this challenging season of life, Rayna has written No Regrets: Hope for Your Caregiving Season, a book filled with her own heart-warming stories and practical suggestions for journeying through a caregiving season. Rayna is an ICF Associate Certified Coach with certifications in both Life and Leadership Coaching from the Professional Christian Coaching Institute.

She is prepared to help you through your own season of caring. Learn more at and connect with Rayna on FacebookLinkedIn, and Instagram.

Changing Minds